I met a man.
He changed my perspective as a mom.
How is that possible? How could one thing said by one man change my outlook on motherhood? Keep reading.
Meeting new people is one of my favorite things. There are so many surprises as the conversation unfolds. As layers of personality and opinion are peeled back and questions go deeper, you find yourself drawn toward or pushed away from the individual in question. So, as I always do, I began by asking about his life. “Where are you from?” “Care to brag on your children?” or “what else would you be doing if you were not here with me?”
These answers can be pretty revealing.
As they answer, what they don’t say tells me more than their words. They talk of farm life, city life, large families, loneliness, vacations, or they just smile and avoid the questions because they can’t believe I really want to know. Oh, but I do really want to know. I want to walk in their shoes for just a little snip in time. I want to experience being them for just one quick second. I want to meet them where they are and see how our lives intersecting was more than chance.
I need to find the purpose.
So on this given day, I met a man who smiled slowly and hesitated when I asked him, “What would you be doing if you weren’t here today?”. Picture an athletic, late-forties kind of guy. Nothing special about his appearance, except a firm handshake and a direct gaze. But when he answered, I had a moment of realization that lasted for weeks. He said, “I run a company of 5000 employees”.
Now, here is the pivotal moment. I wanted to convey that his confiding in me would not change my behavior toward him. I needed him to understand this changed nothing in our new relationship of casual conversation. I could see now he was careful not to share this information with me so far. But I had asked just the question he was trying to hide. So with my usual grace and style, I blurted out the first thing that came to my mind. “Oh, that sounds exhausting but I know just how you feel! I run a family of six!”
And we moved on as though nothing had happened.
Comparing my little family to a company of 5000 employees, can you only imagine? To some extent, there is some literary license here but stay with me for a moment. We both makes daily decisions that will affect the lives and wellbeing of so many others. We cannot delude ourselves into thinking their feelings on any given subject don’t matter. Sure, we share the load to some extent… me with my husband and him with his leadership staff but many important daily tasks fall on us. We decide the direction this team is going and how fast. We impact their health by the guidelines we put in place. Those we supervise need us to be honest with them, encourage them to give it their best, and live up to all we know they can be.
So what about the “exhausting” part? Does he go home at night and worry about the 5000? Does he micro-manage their every move and lose sleep over it all? No. I’m pretty sure he does not. And as a parent, I shouldn’t either. I will manage my home better if I am rested. I will set up guidelines, as he does, and expect they will be followed for the good of everyone involved. I will let those I have chosen to help me take care of their share of the burdens. My door will always be open for needs, but occasionally you may need to make an appointment because I must take care of myself as well. If I am exhausted, I need to evaluate if I am doing more than what God intended me to do.
One more thought crossed my mind as I reflected on this man guiding 5000. In the Bible, it’s recorded where 5000 people were following Jesus to see what his message was all about. When he saw the 5000 people following him were hungry, he arranged for a little sack lunch made by someone else’s mother to take care of all their hunger with leftovers. Did that mom know that morning her son’s lunch would be used like that? Probably not. She decided to send a lunch so her boy would have his needs met when she wasn’t there. That man and I make similar decisions every day. We don’t realize the impact of our decisions. Someone’s life might be changed because I send an extra bag of fruit snacks in my son’s lunch to give away or someone’s life might be changed because that man decides there is money in the budget for a Christmas bonus.
My perspective has changed.
I have more power than I realized. My life can impact the life of 5000 others. Wow.
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